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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28231884">Honey, We Bought a Rhombicuboctahedron</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallynotnatalie/pseuds/totallynotnatalie'>totallynotnatalie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GWA - Fandom, Original Work, PTA - Fandom, PillowTalkAudio - Fandom, gonewildaudio - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Absurd, Banter, But Just Comfort About Polygons, Comfort, F/F, F/M, Gen, Geometry, Humor, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:27:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>564</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28231884</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallynotnatalie/pseuds/totallynotnatalie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This script is about a couple finding out that Middletown PA canceled its New Year's sphoctagan drop and deciding to buy the sphoctagan.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>A4A - Relationship</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Honey, We Bought a Rhombicuboctahedron</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a script for the GWA subreddits. Please contact me before posting a recording of this work anywhere else.</p>
<p>This content is intended for 18+ audiences only.</p>
<p>Feel free to modify the script to meet your needs.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>softly) Hey, honey? Um, I have some bad news</p>
<p>They decided to cancel the Rhombicuboctahedron drop this year. </p>
<p>I know. I know. Shh, it's okay. </p>
<p>*kiss*</p>
<p>You are alright? </p>
<p>*sighs*</p>
<p>Yeah, I'm disappointed too.  (indignant) How can they do this?  It's the event of the season! </p>
<p>Apparently, attendance has been declining over the past nine years and they just couldn't justify the cost anymore. </p>
<p>Right? It's so stupid! Who doesn't want to watch an Archimedean solid with eight triangular and eighteen square faces meet its date with gravity? What's a better New Year's Eve than that? </p>
<p>(laughs) Yeah, any New Year's spent with you is great. But it just won't be the same without our favorite polyhedron there. Our lives be will now be so lacking in octahedral symmetry.</p>
<p>Shh, it's okay. You can cry. </p>
<p>I promise it will be alright. </p>
<p>You'll okay. What to know how I know?</p>
<p>(giddy) Because I bought the Sphoctagon! </p>
<p>*sighs* I know you like the name Rhombicuboctahedron, but Sphoctagon just rolls off the tongue. Anyway, that's not important right now! Honey, we're now the proud owners of the rich man's Rubik's Cube. </p>
<p>Erm, don't worry about how much it cost. </p>
<p>I swear it was a steal!</p>
<p>Well, steal for what we are getting. This kind of geometric beauty is priceless! Besides, when else are we going to have the opportunity to buy a Sphoctagon?</p>
<p>Look, the city council set up a very reasonable payment plan. We'll be fine. </p>
<p>Just think of it like having a kid except better because it doesn't cry and is much more symmetrical.</p>
<p>Um, I didn't really think of where we were going to put it. Maybe the front yard? It will be like a lawn ornament. I bet the neighbors will love it! </p>
<p>Oh, they won't hate us. If the neighbors let Old Men Jenkins keep his entire 300 piece gnome collection in his yard, they won't have a problem with somebody proudly displaying the world's greatest polyhedron. </p>
<p>(excited) Maybe it will be the star of the neighborhood! Nobody will even want to put Christmas decorations anymore because they can't compete with our Sphoctagan! </p>
<p>I am not delusional! I'm just a lover of good geometry. </p>
<p>Besides, I know you love it too! Admit it! </p>
<p>Nah uh, don't try hiding that smile. </p>
<p>Ha, I knew I was right!</p>
<p>Oh, don't worry. There are a million things we could do with it. We don't have to limit ourselves to dropping it once a year. We could paint it different colors for different holidays. We could charge kids for opportunities to sit on top of it. We could cut a hole in the side of it and turn it into a clubhouse. The possibilities are endless!</p>
<p>(Seductive) We could sneak behind it after dark and....</p>
<p>*Gets hit in the side of the arm*</p>
<p>OW! I'm kidding! We don't actually have to do that unless you really want to have the best answer to 'what's the weirdest place you've done it?' </p>
<p>Anyway, we don't have to decide what to do with it now. I hope just that you're at least a little excited that I brought it? </p>
<p>*kiss* good</p>
<p>(laughs) And I'm happy to have a new project to work on with you. That's all that really matters. </p>
<p>We can worry about the details tomorrow. *kiss* Tonight, let's just bask in the glory of our ill-advised purchase.</p>
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